"I left Japan three weeks ago and already my mind is carving sentimental patterns into the past. Have you ever seen a tree infested with ash borers? Memories start to look like that, after a while: nonsense-maps of emotion crisscrossing the surface until finally something that was once alive has been eaten away by various nostalgias. Now, when I think about Yui, she seems to float above the ground, a bit lighter than air; she seems to have my missing pieces, to understand more than I do, feel more than I do, and accept more than I do. Is any of that true, though? We project onto young children a genius we feel we must’ve had, and then we grieve its transience. We look at them and see all of our ghosts and imagine that there was a time when nothing was dead. It’s about us, not them."
 
Every time I read the words from the diary written by Connor Jessup for our new Autumn Winter ’17 issue, I find myself on the edge of tears. This is the impact his noted words have on me every time I let my eyes indulge in his thoughts. So damn beautiful and easy to relate to. After our series with him in the last issue, I wanted to explore his filmmaking side. Sometimes a second chapter is necessary, and in this case I knew there was so much more to explore. I had noticed his beautiful photography. “Do you write?” I ask him. He does. Turns out that was a silly question, but an honest curiosity at the time. “I’m going to Japan to work on a script”, he says, “perhaps I can capture my time out there?”. So this became the plan. To months later we’re swimming in stunning photographs he has taken and pages of notes from his journey. 
 
This is the first time we bring a BBG Diaries series to print, and it's a beautiful story - including Connor’s storytelling mixed with his insights. Through the 10-page photographic series, each includes diary entries - giving you a stunning insight into his thought process and experiences. There is beauty in his images, there is beauty in his words and there is beauty in his vulnerability. Telling the story of three-year old Yui Nakagawa, he touches on how we cling onto our childhood memories and grieve its transience. We cling to the notion that things were perfect and simpler back then, although is this nothing but an imagined utopia? Was there really a time where we were fully anxiety and problem free? And how did Connor actually get on with his screenplay?
 
This feature is a beautiful read with a stunning image gallery, and gives a really unique insight into Connor's writing, photographic and storytelling talents. To anyone who have already seen him on screen, you definitely want to see this story to discover the talent that lies within this humble Canadian. To experience the full feature, beyond the below few teasers, you can find Issue 13 in selected stores now or buy a copy from our web store.

Diary by Connor Jessup.
Above intro by Cecilie Harris.

Connor Jessup Diaries Issue 13